She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
