Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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