Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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