My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
