The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
