I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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