i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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