Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
