so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am naked and annoyed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
