Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
