Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
