Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
