That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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