Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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