He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
