i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
