I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
