I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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