If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
