So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize