I queefed so loud it echoed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
