omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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