in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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