happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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