I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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