There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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