i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
