That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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