So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
