There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
