So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
