i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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