At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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