i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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