How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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