dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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