Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
