white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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