Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
