if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this boner is exhausting
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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