I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
