If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
