they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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