Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
