I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
