She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Small penises have feelings too.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
