so let's talk penis.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
