it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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