I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
