it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
sarcasm needs its own font
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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